Quick, to the slutcave!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
