jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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