I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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