Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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