I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
