I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
