I have demons in me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
