When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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