Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
