He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
