I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize