Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
