i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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