NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
