dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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