let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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