Your tits are I can't wait for
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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