a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
