I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
