and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
