there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
