You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
