you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
