allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
they're like a gay fantastic four
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
