She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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