ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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