He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
