You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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