just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
