ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
