We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
