I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
