do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
