Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
