So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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