still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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