dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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