Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
