i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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