I want to have your abortion
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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