This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
