Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
