The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
