I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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