You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize