what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
