South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize