you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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