Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize