Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
