last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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