Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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