I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize