he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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