How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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