capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
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