i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
