how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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