normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
