last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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