This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
