He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
